“Helicopter parenting” is a term recognized by most, but have you heard of “snowplow parenting?”
This usually begins when an over-parented child begins college, and the parent moves to the role of knocking out any obstacles that might come in the way of their child’s college experience.
As a graduate admissions director, I’m concerned over the increasing number of calls and emails I get from parents on behalf of their child. These check-ins vary from inquiries about graduate school application requirements to follow-ups on receipt of transcripts.
Whatever the reason behind the call, it’s clear who is orchestrating the pursuit of graduate education — and it isn’t the student.
Parents’ intentions are pure. We love our kids deeply and want only the best for them. But we’ve fallen into the trap of fearing that our kids can’t manage without our guidance. They might experience hurt and heartache that we just can’t bear to watch.
But what parents don’t realize is that snowplowing works against their kids. While their elementary and high-school teachers were willing to spoon-feed requirements for student success, college administrators, admissions committees, and professors don’t have the time or interest to fill this role. Instead, we’re looking for students resilient enough to navigate the choppy waters of higher education on their own.
With this in mind, here are several reasons why your parents should not be involved in the application and admissions process when choosing a graduate school.
You shouldn't involve your parents in the grad school application process...
1. ...because showing self-motivation and self-discipline is a must for prospective students.
Especially at the graduate level, admission committees and faculty are looking for independent thinkers who can aid in new and existing research. Especially at an R1 institution like WVU, we are looking for forward-thinking, driven professionals who are ready to dive into cutting-edge research, and this requires students to exemplify self-motivation.
If you aren’t taking the lead in the application process, this raises serious questions about how independently you work. After all, there isn’t room in the lab or classroom for Mom or Dad.
2. ...because confidence and competence are necessary in adult life.
Over-controlling parents undermine the competence and confidence of their growing children.
While we hope to prevent our kids from experiencing a sense of failure, we can inadvertently short-change them from learning to set priorities and balance life’s demands if we are overly involved.
Time management, attention to detail, motivation, and organization are critical skills needed in graduate school — and the whole of adult life. For this reason, parents need to step back and give their children the opportunity to develop these skills as well as learn how to use them in myriad ways.
3. ...because parent involvement immediately brands the potential student as a child.
In higher education, students are regarded as adults. When parents email on the student’s behalf, there is a legitimate concern that the student lacks independence and maturity.
When I answer the phone and hear “I’m calling on behalf of my son to find out what the application requirements are,” I assume the son has no ability to interact with faculty and administrators on his own. Unfortunately, these assumptions can negatively impact the prospective student's chance at being seriously considered when there are limited number of openings in a competitive program.
4. ...because parent involvement puts the faculty’s guard up.
At most colleges and universities, administrators and faculty are willing to do whatever is needed to assist a student having a problem. Our job is to help you be successful, however, once a parent enters the situation, things get knocked up a level.
We wonder, if they don’t like my answer, will they go to the dean? The provost? The president? Or even an elected state official? Now we are much less likely to go out of our way to cut someone a break or go the extra mile to assist.
Whether explicitly stated or not, the threat of things accelerating to another level decreases our desire to help.
5. ...because none can navigate the grad school application process better than you.
We get it, applying to graduate school can be stressful. But in reality, no one can navigate that application process better than you — you know your field of interest; you know the program that is the best fit; you know your own longterm career goals; and you should be most familiar with your school's application requirements.
It's your responsibility to navigate the graduate school admissions process with intentionality and confidence, and the only way to do so is to take the next step yourself.
To help, we offer a variety of resources related to submitting a remarkable graduate school application — including our guide: Everything You Need to Know About Applying to Graduate School at WVU.
Ready to take the next step in your academic future through graduate-level education? We're here for you.
In short, letting go is hard, but transitions are a normal part of life. Kids suffer more in the long run if their parents rob them of experiencing the ups and downs of life’s transitions. Your parents might think they are being helpful, but for your own sake, navigate the graduate school application process on your own.
If you think that choosing graduate school at WVU could be the right decision for your academic and professional future, then we encourage you to get in touch with us. You can request more information, visit our Resource Library, or review our admissions requirements.
Need additional help preparing for the GRE? Check out our digital resource — The GRE Cheat Sheet — and let us help you prepare to ace the GRE!
